People You Meet on TheBus

byPAULA BENDER
Sun Columnist

Who are your markers throughout the day? I see people each day at the gym, on TheBus, at work. We are creatures of habit. I'm the one who stands at the bus stop with a clear sky above me. Experience has taught me that standing under a tree does not result in good luck.

A few weeks ago one of my morning companions stopped riding TheBus. Each day Suzanne would sit in the first row by the side-ways bench where I sat. At Hahaione Street, Linda would board and sit by Suzanne. We would review the morning newspaper, discuss the latest issues and share laughs. Often we were quiet, as that's how it is on the second express bus out of Hawaii Kai. We are several dozen people comfortable with each other, quietly anticipating our days.

Suzanne had taken ill one day and died two days later. For a week the seat beside me was occupied by others, and for a few days Linda had been out sick, too. As it goes with bus riders, we don't always share with each other that we might be driving in or going into town late. So we never really know what our friends, most of whom we only know on a first-name basis, might be up to.

The following Monday, my other bus stop companion, Cathy, told me that Suzanne had died. The proud mom with the colorful stories would no longer be waiting with us. My heart sunk, but I knew it was nothing compared to what Suzanne's family must be going through. Death always takes us by surprise and really puts a dent in our plans. I don't think we are truly prepared for not seeing someone ever again. As a result, we put off the kind things we want to say to the people we care about, even if they are just bus stop companions.

An elderly gentleman named Frank rides our express, but sometimes he catches the number one. I might already be waiting at the Hotel Street stop to transfer and he'll be carefully walking across the street in his baseball cap, his bus pass attached to his Disneyland lanyard. Frank's morning routine includes a stop into the Hotel Street Longs Drugs to buy a gift box of chocolate-covered macadamias to share with neighbors, a bottle of cola and some cone sushi. He then gets back on the Hawaii Kai bus to ride home, errand complete by 8 A.M. One time Frank fell on the sidewalk by the Hawaii Kai Foodland bus stop. Some kind soul stopped to help him, despite the heavy morning rush-hour traffic. Frank is one of those guys I look out for. He seems so vulnerable yet determined to remain independent.

Bus riders come and go with changing jobs and routines. My heart aches when I have to adjust to knowing I won't see someone again. As I grow older, I suspect it might get easier to do.

Paula Bender is a freelance writer in Hawaii Kai who writes about parenting and community involvement. Send your comments or suggestions to paula@hawaii.rr.com.